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| Citizen Kain |
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| Tom Kain |
Go to Tom's Website
Casey
Casey is the self proclaimed smart one of the group. He is an excellent card player, and a
bit of an ass. Casey does all of the voiceover work in the movie and is the main character.
TALKBACK WITH TOM KAIN
Why were you in the movie? How did Adam convince you to be in it?
I was in the movie because Ive always been an enthusiastic actor, and Adams little production posed a, well,
unique challenge to me. So, with little arm-twisting, I joined the flock of fold volunteers.
Have you done any acting before? What and Where?
Cathedral High School, training ground of many superb thespians (many of them in this particular film), provided
me with ample opportunities to stretch my artistic talent. Ive also played the part of "Bait" in the FBIs pursuit of Thomas
Kane, convicted child molester, resting proudly on the top 10 most wanted list, last I checked.
Do you plan on acting in the future?
If I start getting paid in concubines.
What was the worst experience about being in the movie?
Making the trek out to Adams house, where we normally had very unproductive times.
What was the best experience about being in the movie?
Giving birth (no, not literally, just artistically) to Darlene and Tony Pappenfuss. I also enjoyed helping
with the cinematography and arranging transportation for the raunchy prostitutes eager to service the cast.
Tell a funny story about your experience if you have one:
So this one time I disarmed a bomb with my dexterous hands. See, this thing was lying in the middle of Adams
living room floor and was about to explode! Imagine the catastrophe! So I pored over the thing for hours, disregarding complaints
from cast members. Evidently they didnt care too much about personal well-being. Then I felt the obviously technologically
magnificent bomb gnash mammal-like teeth at me and emit a very realistic sound of panic. I continued working, consumed by
my commitment to life. Then the bomb began to move. I thought I had been slipped acid by my evil co-workers, effectively distorting
my perceptions. Then I was slapped and realized that the bomb was in fact Adams cat, Jasmine. I still dont trust that frisky
feline, though, with its beady eyes and real-feeling fur.
Were you paid to be in the movie?
Sometimes one devotes ones precious time to causes supporting the betterment of society, the abolishment of
injustice, and the pursuit of global unity, all for no fee. This movie was not one of those causes. No, I wasnt paid.
When do you think the movie will premiere?
Febtober 40th.
What is love life like for a big star like you?
Passionate, indentured, hard, malleable, leathery, spiky, harmful, inter-generational, international, scandalous,
interplanetary, presidential.
How has being in the movie changed you?
I have become more in touch with my feminine side and have improved relations with my soviet comrades.
What are you looking forward to most about seeing the movie?
The proof that I am able to actually view movies after the vision experiment gone awry. Thanks, Dr. Smith.
Im sure youd like to see the horrifying side effects.
Would you be in another movie, and what would you like to see changed about the way we work?
Id like to be in a silent, black and white film with Mike in which we would declare our hatred for humanitys
obsession with modernity, progress, and human decency.
Is there anything else youd like to say?
Ive begun to realize that much of the spice of life is really just Oregano, to which I am mortifyingly
allergic.
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